Returned from Asia and Australia to my snowy European town and immediately went into “hybernation” mode.
Jet-leg, cold weather, and 5 new notches so far this year, made me forget about women for a few days. I craved solitude with my thoughts and a hot cup of tea.
I got serious about daygame at the end of February 2016. Yeah, I had done couple bootcamps before. And number of aproaches around the world with my friends or even solo. But it did not lead to any lays, partly because daygame is hard and party because I was not fully committed.
How did I get serious? At the end of 2015 I broke things of with my on-and-off girlfriend, and in February 2016, I had a mini-heartbreak after a near-miss “snake seduction” with a sexy Singaporean chic (posing as a travel friend to get into her pants). I ended up in Singapore, alone, and had “fuck it” moment – the emotional pain was worse than fear or anxiety. I started decisively approaching girls who were walking by. Had several good reactions, which raised my vibe, and resulted in me having phone full of contact, and more importantly, 2 lays over the next several days.
But you say, that was 2016 so it should be 2 years of daygame…Well, correct: I took a year off for a relationship with another girl and made almost no daygame apporaches during that time (except in the begining and towards the end of the realtionship). I did sleep with 5 other girls behind her back, but these were 4 social situations plus just 1 daygame lay just before I broke up with her.
So during the 2 years I was roughly daygame active for 12 months: 6 before I turned 39 and 6 after I turned 40.
During that “year” I made around 850 approaches resulting in 11 purely daygame lays (did not record number of # closes and dates):
- 4 in Singapore (during 2 different trips)
- 2 in USA (Austin and Chicago)
- 3 in Warsaw
- 2 in Bangkok
- Oldest was 37 (and married – my 1st daygame lay), youngest 23.
- 6 were under 25.
- 5 were 30 or more.
- 7 7s
- 3 6s
- 1 8
I got additional 11 lays from Social/Night game (8, including my ex) and Tinder (3) [Note: technically, 6 lays during my “year” of daygame, and 5 when I was not actively daygaming].
So given that my lifetime lay count is 60, you can see these were 2 very productive years. I clearly was doing something that I was not doing before for almost 40 years of my life.
Why did I get laid more?
- I tried harder. I left my girlfriend (for the 12-months I didn’t date subsequent girl, that is).
- Daygame. Pretty self-explanatory, daygame accounted for half of my notches.
- Daygame made me Antifragile. As they say in “Fight Club”, “after fighting anything else in your life got the volume turned down. you could deal with anything” – same goes for pick up in more social situations.
- Escalation/logistics: Paid better attention to escalation and logistics
February and March 2016 were awesome since early success in daygame made me enthusiastic about it.
New york visit in April-May 2016 kicked my ass and starting a new relationship around then lowered my motivation.
Getting back into daygame in 2017 was hard. My vibe was bad (due to post-break up shake up and stressful business issues) and I somehow treated daygame as a chore. I faced lots of blow outs, anxiety, and not-such-fun times but managed 6 notches from daygame. That trend continued till end of 2017.
2018, I got laid 5 times (although only 1 from daygame) in little over 2 months and felt like my vibe improved, my handle of the daygame model, and composure really came along. Daygame Infinite book helped a lot in terms of the vibe management, mindset, pre-approach calibration, and texting (the book BTW is pure gold – I put reading it on hold though to re-read Mastery first – but will surely write a review this year).
In hindsight, what were the most improtant take-aways from that “year”?
- be in the moment, not in my head
- have a proper stack before you approach, and listen to what she is replying
- smirk and speak slow
- eye contact
- maintain and cherish the vibe (happy thoughts, happy chatter, stay in the moment)
- when texting, don’t rush a date invite, warm up the lead and see where she’s at.
- push outside your comfort zone, a little bit each day.
- do first few approaches as soon as possible (“she might not be an 8. Or even 7. But I fucked girls like that from tinder”). walking around for the first hour and doing only 1 or 2 approaches is bad for energy and vibe.
- better rapport breaking and spiking Tom Torero’s “How to Flirt with Girls” is an excellent reseource which I re-read several times. Better over-spike than under-spike.
What are my goals for the upcoming year?
- 1000 daygame sets with focus on approaching (as per Krauser’s Daygame Mastery):
- exceptionally hot girls
- be present more during my sessions and my life in general, esp when interacting with others
- have fun, be enthusiastic
- push limits – more stationary and high pressure approaches
- improve night-game (without getting drunk)
This year, I had 2 Tinder SDLs, mini-relationship with a solid 22yo 8, 1 daygame D2, followed by seducing a very innocent girl at a business conference.
As I relfect on last year, I noticed that something has changed deep in my soul. I am not craving a comfort of a relatioship anymore. Previously, I structured my life around having a girl to run to for comfort when the world got rough and scary. My jobs, living locations, and happiness, were dictated by this need and I spend a ton of resources, time, and energy to ensure that shelter existed.
Now I feel certain I will find girls, have hot sex, and romantic adventures wherever I go. If there’s a dry spell, it will pass. I am relaxed. I don’t feel anxiety. I don’t feel lonliness. I just sit here and enjoy my tea, and reflect on life. I feel satiation. I feel peace. I feel clarity of mind. This is a huge difference from a year ago when I was gathering the strength to break up with my ex.
But more so. This is the first time in my life I feel like this and it’s a major breakthrough.
It’s a new chapter. And I’m fucking excited to live it.